When I decided to start this blog, I knew that I was not going to include names or pictures of my friends and family or anyone else for that matter and I am still going to honor that in this post.
I have been through a few difficult things in my life (in my personal opinion), but there is one instance that has proven to be the most difficult for me and that was my recent divorce. I will not go into details about the "why" of the situation only to say that it was not a mutual decision and it was not handled, discussed or processed in a mature, respectful manner. I was bitter for quite some time and in a way I feel like I might still be a little bit, but nowhere near where I was before. I'll go back to the cliche that everything happens for a reason and while there are a few reasons that I know this had to happen, there still are a few things I don't quite understand, but I realize that I may never understand them and it's not always up to me to have all the answers. It's my job to brush myself off and get back up on my feet and continue on with my life.
It is not the fact that it happened that is the most difficult part. The hardest part for me was everything that I sacrificed and gave up only to have it turn out the way it did. I have always been close to my family and even given how large my family is, we always spend time together and get together for h0lidays and special occasions. I spent most of my time on weekends watching my niece and nephew grow up and being a big part of their lives. Before I go any further, I'm sure some of you might be saying "you chose that life so you knew what you were getting yourself into." (By the way, I feel it would make more sense to you if you knew that he was (is) in the military). Which is very true and yes I chose that life. However, I did all of that for someone that I thought was on my side and was on the same page as me. Regardless of our situation and how long we were together, I realized that we really don't know some people as much as we think we do or as much as they try to convince us of the type of person they are. So after moving away from my family and friends and leaving a good paying job, we moved to where his job took him and I had to start over. Don't get me wrong, I have made some great friendships here; many of which I know I will carry with me the rest of my life, but nonetheless, I am back at square one and having to start all over again. I have yet to discover the real meaning as to why things happened the way they did, but I have discovered that I need to work on finding myself again and figuring out my purpose in this world because I lost that about a year ago. We all deal with things differently and on different time frames, but I feel like I have done pretty well considering. I have my days where I question things in my life, but I think that's natural for everyone not just someone that went through what I did. Life is full of ups and downs and I'm learning to roll with the punches, take the good with the bad and keep living. In one of my previous posts, I included how my trip to my aunt's in North Carolina was an eye-opening experience for me and it truly was. That was one of those times in my life where I had a gut instinct that I was going to be okay and that things happened exactly the way they were supposed to; I'm just working out the details. Thank you for reading; if you made it this far!
I have been through a few difficult things in my life (in my personal opinion), but there is one instance that has proven to be the most difficult for me and that was my recent divorce. I will not go into details about the "why" of the situation only to say that it was not a mutual decision and it was not handled, discussed or processed in a mature, respectful manner. I was bitter for quite some time and in a way I feel like I might still be a little bit, but nowhere near where I was before. I'll go back to the cliche that everything happens for a reason and while there are a few reasons that I know this had to happen, there still are a few things I don't quite understand, but I realize that I may never understand them and it's not always up to me to have all the answers. It's my job to brush myself off and get back up on my feet and continue on with my life.
It is not the fact that it happened that is the most difficult part. The hardest part for me was everything that I sacrificed and gave up only to have it turn out the way it did. I have always been close to my family and even given how large my family is, we always spend time together and get together for h0lidays and special occasions. I spent most of my time on weekends watching my niece and nephew grow up and being a big part of their lives. Before I go any further, I'm sure some of you might be saying "you chose that life so you knew what you were getting yourself into." (By the way, I feel it would make more sense to you if you knew that he was (is) in the military). Which is very true and yes I chose that life. However, I did all of that for someone that I thought was on my side and was on the same page as me. Regardless of our situation and how long we were together, I realized that we really don't know some people as much as we think we do or as much as they try to convince us of the type of person they are. So after moving away from my family and friends and leaving a good paying job, we moved to where his job took him and I had to start over. Don't get me wrong, I have made some great friendships here; many of which I know I will carry with me the rest of my life, but nonetheless, I am back at square one and having to start all over again. I have yet to discover the real meaning as to why things happened the way they did, but I have discovered that I need to work on finding myself again and figuring out my purpose in this world because I lost that about a year ago. We all deal with things differently and on different time frames, but I feel like I have done pretty well considering. I have my days where I question things in my life, but I think that's natural for everyone not just someone that went through what I did. Life is full of ups and downs and I'm learning to roll with the punches, take the good with the bad and keep living. In one of my previous posts, I included how my trip to my aunt's in North Carolina was an eye-opening experience for me and it truly was. That was one of those times in my life where I had a gut instinct that I was going to be okay and that things happened exactly the way they were supposed to; I'm just working out the details. Thank you for reading; if you made it this far!